The holidays often include time with extended family and friends, which can also mean navigating awkward conversations. Especially when we are asked questions that bump up against our learning, brain, or behavioral differences.

Having good boundaries about what we share is helpful. But sometimes you want to tell a certain family members or a close friend a bit more about your situation as a dyscalculic individual, or about your child’s dyscalculia.

If you find yourself at a loss for words, here are a couple of scripts you might try.

When family probes deeper about your child’s grades, or about how they are doing in math, you might respond with:

“Johnny is dyscalculic. Dyscalculia is a neurological-difference that impacts one’s ability to understand and work with numbers and quantities. We are proud of how he is doing in school, especially given this challenge. He’s such a brilliant kid.”

If you are dyscalculic and are asked a question that leaves you feeling like a deer in headlights, you might try responding with:

“I’m dyscalculic. So, questions about most things involving numbers, time, or quantity are complicated and not great for me. However, I’d love to talk with you about _______.”

If they inquire about what it means to be dyscalculic, try:

“Dyscalculia is a neurological difference that impacts one’s ability to work with numbers and quantities. It is as common as dyslexia, but not as well-known. If you’d like to learn more about it, I can send you a good podcast on dyscalculia.”

(Here is a recent podcast I did with the LDA that you can share with them.)

It’s hard, even painful, to feel misunderstood by family and friends, especially when it is about some aspect of ourselves.

I hope that those in your inner circle will be curious and interested to learn more. If not, please remember you are not alone. There are millions all over the world who really do understand and can appreciate what it is to be dyscalculic.

I’d love to hear how these conversations go for you. Send me a note here with your experiences this holiday season.