My Limiting Beliefs about Homeschooling

Recently I was reminded of the language of “limiting beliefs.” These are beliefs that we hold unaware, and if left unexamined, can impact our choices and keep us stuck.

As I am becoming more aware of limiting beliefs, I can see these beliefs present in many aspects of my life.

One limiting belief I noticed recently was surrounding the choice to homeschool one of our daughters this coming year. In my head it sounded like, “If we homeschool her, then she won’t make friends and she will lose her social skills.”

Recognizing this limiting belief helped me get curious about where this idea came from. Memories surfaced from my own middle school years, when I knew a few homeschool families who I thought were socially awkward. Even though I too was homeschooled for some years growing up, I resisted contact with these kids.

I also felt aware of other cultural pressures that said kids are better cared for and well-adjusted if they follow the mainstream involvement in traditional school, sports, and after school activities.

As I paused to examine why I held this belief, I could recognize it as “limiting” because it was literally limiting the options that I had for choosing what might be best for my daughter. It was a belief that would hinder creativity and thinking outside the box. I wondered about flipping the limiting belief upside down. The opposite could just as easily be true. What if keeping her in public-school was actually harming her socialness and ability to connect? That was a provocative thought!

Another memory came to mind from last year when our family had just moved to a new town, and both our daughters were missing all their old friends. Someone invited our eldest to join a group of girls for a weekly after-school club. It seemed like a great way to make friends. However, when I picked her up each Tuesday, she was completely exhausted and unable to really enjoy the time because she was worn out from being with people all day. She needed downtime to recharge. When the two of us talked about it, we realized that the other girls at the club were not experiencing her authentic self as lively, creative, and thoughtful. Instead their experience of her was a girl who was quiet, tired, worn out, and easily annoyed. The reality was that the long school day was impacting her ability to connect with this group of girls and built new friendships.

I decided that my limiting belief that homeschooling would equal no-friends and social-awkwardness, did not have to be true. “If this, then that,” didn’t fit in this situation. I decided to reject this limiting belief and see what possibilities open up for my daughter as we homeschool this year while exploring other avenues for her to connect socially.

What limiting beliefs do you notice in yourself, and how do you see them impacting your choices? Do you have any regarding your child’s education?

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